Rosie's story

My name is Rosie, the last six years have been a nightmare for me. I was placed on Newstart when I left an abusive relationship.
My relationship breakdown was traumatic and there had been violence. I had to get out to keep my kids safe. But then when I could only get NS I had to work more hours to keep paying the mortgage on the house that I was still making the payments on. My ex has never paid me any child support so I had to take up various jobs that meant I was working long hours and leaving my eldest teenage son to supervise his younger brothers and one of them has ADHD.  I couldn’t see any other way of keeping the bills paid and I was doing my best to keep us going as a family living in the same place.
That was a really bad time for me, because I did not know that my eldest was getting up to mischief with his friends.  There was a spate of six copycat suicides at his high school that year too, and when I found out my son had started using drugs with his mates I was really upset and had to leave the job which I had actually been enjoying but the hours were too long. I feel so guilty about leaving my sons at home it really tears me apart but I am glad I found out about what was going on so that I could try to help him back on track. That wasn’t easy though because I could already see he had started to resent me for not being there, and I am still working on mending that relationship with him.  Now that he’s a bit older I think he understands a bit more about why I had to do what I did, but it’s really hard trying to explain that stuff to teenage kids.
Anyway, all of that had happened and I was back on Centrelink and being hassled by employment services,  not to mention ongoing hassles with Child Support and so on, and all the time I had to spend on the time trying to sort things out with all the agencies, it was really hard work. And I was putting in my own job applications left right and centre since I knew we couldn’t go on living on no money and it was really stressful.
Then things went from bad to worse. I had a serious car accident, four years ago, it was really really bad. You know I was in hospital for a long time, with my boys at home, luckily I had my parents who have been able to help me out through the worst parts.  But by the time I got out of hospital I hadn’t been working for so long and all the bills had mounted up and I wasn’t able to work. So we lost the house and my ex still did nothing to help even though he should have been paying me child support, it would have helped if he did, but you can’t make them do it, that’s the government’s jobs but I know a lot of people who get away with not paying child support and I’d rather not have any more stress of hassling my ex for it, I think that’s what happens with a lot of people.
The next part of my story really upsets me since I am still living in chronic pain and being reminded of this stuff is really hard. I lost the house, and we ended up homeless, living in a car, they were very dark days. I was lucky thought I got connected to a housing worker, who really helped me sort things out, it took a lot of time, but she helped connect me to different services to help me, and got people bringing use food parcels and vouchers, and helping pay for things for the kids at school so that they didn’t feel so bad. But they all remember how bad it was you know it’s terrible putting your kids through that stuff, and I feel like it wasn’t my fault how things went but no one seems to care about the impact these things have on the kids. I feel like there’s going to be a whole generation of kids who’ve been through these things, with their parents not around, you know, they’re in poverty and feel bad because of that, and then they get into trouble.
I’ve been lucky to have my mum and dad to support me but it comes at a cost too, like I feel guilty about the burdens I’ve placed on them, and there’s been some tough times between us, it’s just these situations create all this family stress across the generations and nobody talks about that either. But mum and dad have been really great and I’m living now in their shed as I have been back on Newstart for a while now and can’t possibly afford market rents, like I only get something $425 a week on Newstart including family tax benefit and that, and the rents I have to pay are like $300, it’s unbelievable they think people can live like that.
I don’t have any problem working, I always want to work, I always have worked when I can. Even when I had my accident, I begged them to let me work, I was so worried about not being able to pay the bills and lose everything, it was just such a terrible time. When I had recovered a bit from the accident I was linked to a Disability Employment Service provider, but I was on Newstart, so go figure that one, and I had been to a Job Network before had they had found me a few placements, but mainly short term stuff that didn’t really work out.
So this DES right, they really messed me around and I am totally angry about it because they ruined a job for me, and I’ve made this public, seriously, I have the emails to prove it. What they did was contacted an employer for a job I’d arranged for myself and told them not to pay me because they were going to organise a wage subsidy so here I find myself in a job I’ve found myself, and not getting paid. I went ballistic and couldn’t stay working there anymore I just found it so corrupt that employers take advantage of disadvantaged people. Like I’ve been offered jobs at less than the award rate, like I check with wageline, and I know there are heaps of people who take the jobs because they feel like they  don’t have any choice but the employers are getting away with it and it’s unregulated. The government should out a stop to that too you know, it’s exploitation but I know a lot of women who do it because they haven’t go any choice because they can’t live on Newstart and it just helps to make them feel like they’re worth less than everyone else.
I found myself another job I started about a week ago, and this time it just happened to be on the same day as the interview that I saw a new ES provider, which I’d been given an appointment at after complaining about the last ones messing that job up for me, not only did they mess it up, they were rude about it too. Anyway, this ES provider saw I was carrying my interview folder, and asked me if I was going to an interview and I always tell the truth said yes, and then they said oh you know because yoru’re a high streamer we’ve got some good incentives to offer the employer, I thought here we go again! And said whatever, I don’t want to know if you contact her that’s fine, but I don’t want to know about it and I’m really happy I’ve got the job and get on really well with my new boss and I don’t want to get angry about it all again.
It felt so good last week when I got my first pay and I went out and bought my youngest some golf clubs, so that he could play a round of golf on the weekend and I could be there and watch him, and not have to work weekends anymore. I’ve missed out on so much time with my sons it’s hard to describe how bad that makes me feel, and I really feel like forcing people like me on to Newstart has all sorts of costs the government hasn’t even thought about.
I’ve been threatened with participation failures a lot of times, and it has added to the feeling of being made to feel incredibly, incredibly worthless, then I get angry. It’s just not right the government should treat women like me like this, we do everything we can to get our kids growing up to be healthy and safe, and not a problem later on, we put our kids first, and this is how we get treated. I haven’t found any of the employment services I’ve dealt with helpful, they just make you jump through hoops and there’s nothing in it for you. It’s so stressful having to handle all the hassle from them, you know with job search requirements and diaries for them and Centrelink and the constant monitoring phone calls and stuff, like don’t they realise we’re adults and we are responsible and we can take care of ourselves without them needing to supervise us like we’re kids or incompetent or something. You should see me, I apply for jobs all the time, and have all my other stuff to manage, I don’t see why they need to be on our backs too. It’s just stupid, and we’ve got other problems to manage with child support and housing and you name it.
I hate being in the Centrelink queue, I feel degraded by it, and that people are judging me if they see me there, you know it’s unfair because I’ve always worked as much as I can. I try to do as much of my reporting online, but you can’t do all of it, and it doesn’t always work, so you end up back in there frustrated, and feeling like it’s all a waste of everyone’s time but you have to go through this ritual humiliation to remind you that you are a single parent and on welfare. But one of the worst things for me is that I have to keep retelling all these agencies my stories, whether it’s because they’ve changed my case worker or I’m at a new service, and that’s really hard, retelling it brings back the trauma and that’s upsetting when I’m really focusing on moving forward and getting my life together.
I’ve been able to handle a lot of this stuff but I am aware of the damage its caused, me and my kids, and lots of other people I know. Since I have been campaigning to have stories like mine heard, I’ve attracted a bit of media interest and have people from political parties and government departments wanting to talk to me and I am not scared to speak out about it because I think people need to hear about it the distress that’s been going on. They need to get offended about what’s happened and feel what I’ve been feeling all these years because I think once they get offended they’ll start making noise and getting some change happening.
I’ve been down and out because of these changes, and it’s been a long road back and while it’s been hard I know  I am luckier than some to have parents who can help me out. But there’a lot off women been in contact with me who are having a really rough time, I can’t keep up with all of the stories I’ve heard and it’s led me to do a lot of thinking about this issues we single parents have been having with employment services.
 I think they should have employment services and rules just for parents, that understand the needs of parents and families, not just treat us all like we are trailer trash. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and I’ve done research about it and I think you know, there’s been antidiscrimination put in for people with disabilities and multicultural people, but not us parents.

 I’ve always been working as much as I can, but I now know I need to be there for my kids, and that I’ve missed out on time that we will never get back I just hope it hasn’t caused to much damage.  It’s not just the time away from the kids, it’s the whole thing of being made to feel socially worthless, that our single parents familes are worth less than other people that really gets to people including the kids, and I can understand why some people turn to drugs and that to deal with it because the stigma and the shame just get too much.